Items:

During your abusive partner relationship this person...

General nonsupport (All types of support)
1. Gave you discouraging advice or help and questioned your decisions (judgmental).
2. May not have helped you if you asked or needed help (not consistent or dependable).
3. Gave you help you didn't really want or need.
4. Got frustrated or upset with you when you didn't take their advice or accept their help.
Informational nonsupport
5. Encouraged you to listen to your partner and cater (submit or give in) to his wishes.
6. Have you their opinion or told you what to do but didn't ask you what you thought best for you (and your children). Emotional nonsupport
7. Backed away from you or avoided you when they found out about the abuse.
8. Thought you should be the one to change (not your abusive partner) or that you should change enough to prevent or stop abuse. (Got to counseling, not get angry.)
9. Encouraged you to forgive your abusive partner for anything he did and not complain about his behavior.
10. Tried to placate (appease) you and tell you it was going to get better.
11. Ignored his abusive behavior.
12. Really didn't want to know about the abuse (felt uncomfortable, frightened, etc.).
13. Didn't believe your story.
14. Thought you probably couldn't find a better husband/partner, even though he was abusive.
15. Wanted you to handle your situation (the abuse) on your own.
16. Thought you probably deserved to be abused (being a bitch, being a nap, expecting too much from him, etc.).
17. Thought you were overreacting or being too sensitive about your partner's abusive behavior.
18. Felt you should tolerate abuse from your partner in an effort to save your marriage/partner relationship and to prevent a breakup (especially with children involved).
19. Felt that you should get JOINT marriage counseling.
20. Tried to excuse his abusive behavior because he was unemployed had health problems, drank, had stress at work, etc. 21. Thought you should try to understand him better and be more patient with him.
22. Treated you like a child who couldn't think for herself or make it on her own.
23. Thought you asked for the abuse (or caused it to happen). They blamed you for being abused.
24. Encouraged you to stay in your abusive partner relationship (as is).
Physical nonsupport
28. Talked to your husband/partner when they wanted or needed something from your family (went over your head).
29. Helped you with food, clothing or other material things but with strings attached, obligations, etc. (You felt you had to do certain things or act a certain way).
30. Stopped by to see you.
31. Called to visit with you on the telephone (or email).
32. Asked if they could help.
33. Helped you with things like child care, yard work or a meal when you needed it, were sick or tired.

Response Options:
Never - 1
Sometimes - 2
About 1/2 of the time - 3
Often - 4
Always - 5